It's actually the name of a novel i read..lol
But its a fact
Humans usually learn lessons of their life in the hard way.
I have learnt to take responsibilities when i came across an incident. And ofcourse it was...The Hard Way.lol
It was during my 3rd year engineering.
The tensions in our class were at peak level.
Group wars were on.
Ironically I was representing the Good guy gang.lol
I was also havin some issues wid a friend.
Then all of a sudden, on an evening, I get a news dat dad fainted in one of his friends' shop.
I rushed to the hospital. Not much info from doctors.
He bit his tongue when he fell down and blood was all over his shirt.
The next morning we took dad to Hyderabad for further checkup.
The same day one of my cousins was gettin married. I insisted on stayin back wid dad. Dad refused n askd me to attend marriage alongwid mom.
So we did. But we were totally absent, for dad had never been hospitalised before.
After 2 days, I had to rush back to home as I had my lab exams.
Mom said she's gonna take care of dad n asked me not to worry.
Now before this all started, we were changing the flooring of our house from normal floor to marble. So we had the stuff from the entire house fit into one room.
Luckily I knew how to cook rice and tomato curry. Those are the only items I ever learnt to cook.lol
So I used to cook in the not-so-clean kitchen, take food to the room wid all the stuff and ofcourse a TV [ ;)]
So I used to sit there, watch tv and eat and sleep within the 4ft space left on the floor.lol.
Oh .. btw... I was 6'3" even then. lol
I still dnt understand how I fit into that place. hahaha
Day time was very tough as the polishing machine used to make a loud and irritating noise.
I prayed to god that everything comes back to normal soon.
The next day I had 1st lab exam and I had to get my lab record book signed by one of my professors.
I should have done it before. So he was furious at me and asked where I was.
I was almost crying then. Told him that I had to urgently go to Hyderabad to admit my father in hospital. He then felt sorry for me.
I somehow managed to do well in the exams.
The food menu and my schedule remained the same for the next 2-3 days.
- Cookin the same food
- Eatin the same pickle
- Sleepin within a 4ft space on floor
- Bearin the irritatin noise of machines
Then I went back to Hyderabad to get dad discharged cuz he was fine then.
Later we had him shown to other doctor and the conclusion was clotting of blood in one of the nerve.
Thanks to the heavens...he slowly recovered.
But now everytime I look back at the mental dilemma i was in, during that period, makes me wonder how did I get out of it widout losin myself.
Phew !!!
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Will power sounds louder than a Thunder
The elders are right when they say that too much of laughing for no reason, usually ends up with a terrible hit.
I still wonder why I couldn't join mom and dad on their trip to a temple.
Maybe 'cause I was supposed to face much terrible things later that day.
Dad's assistant was supposed to turn up early that morning. But he didn't wake up early. So I had to stay back at home.
I kept watchin comedy movies all day long and laughed uncontrollably. God knows what made me laugh so much that day.
Later dad's assistant apologised and I asked him to take day off n go home as I needed to be alone to laugh more and more. lol
In the evening, weather became TOO pleasant. Sky was full of clouds. It seemed like a storm was coming.
Then suddenly a thunder hit somewhere pretty near. I could feel that it has hit somewhere in the middle of the city.
Suddenly I got the news that the thunder has struck a gals hostel. My legs started trembling. 'cause that's where my classmates used to stay as well.
But I least expected the next news.
I thought it didn't hit any human being.
But I was wrong.
And the worst part was IT HAS HIT TWO OF MY FRIENDS.
I immediately called up assistant to come home as soon as possible.
And I rushed to the hospital though it was heavily raining.
I was totally shaking 'cause I couldn't take the news.
I was told they were being taken to Hyderabad for further treatment.
I came back disheartened.
I was totally outta my senses with the tension in my mind about the condition of my friends.
I switched on TV to see if something was in the news.
But the video of my friends being taken to hospital totally shook me.
There I was watchn my friends on the news...totally hurt n fytin death. I cried a lot that night. couldn't reach any of my friends. even dad's cell was out of coverage.
The next morning the newspaper talked bout this event. Doctors said its very difficult for 1 of them to make it. Her body was totally burnt. The lightning had struck almost 1-2inches frm where she was standing.
A part of the roof was cut n hit her foot.
Doctors had to remove it.
Another gal was safe, though she lost her ability to hear.
God is great indeed though. Or is it her willpower?
Or is it a combo of the both?
Whatever it is... the gal did it.
She lukd the death in the face, spit on it n came back.
She had to get artificial leg though.
But she came back to normal neverthless n better than ever.
After engineering she joined the same college as a lecturer.
Now she's in a gud position as far as her job is concerned.
A Human being's willpower is lot bigger than millions of volts of a thunder... :)
This is 4 u my sweet sis :)
I still wonder why I couldn't join mom and dad on their trip to a temple.
Maybe 'cause I was supposed to face much terrible things later that day.
Dad's assistant was supposed to turn up early that morning. But he didn't wake up early. So I had to stay back at home.
I kept watchin comedy movies all day long and laughed uncontrollably. God knows what made me laugh so much that day.
Later dad's assistant apologised and I asked him to take day off n go home as I needed to be alone to laugh more and more. lol
In the evening, weather became TOO pleasant. Sky was full of clouds. It seemed like a storm was coming.
Then suddenly a thunder hit somewhere pretty near. I could feel that it has hit somewhere in the middle of the city.
Suddenly I got the news that the thunder has struck a gals hostel. My legs started trembling. 'cause that's where my classmates used to stay as well.
But I least expected the next news.
I thought it didn't hit any human being.
But I was wrong.
And the worst part was IT HAS HIT TWO OF MY FRIENDS.
I immediately called up assistant to come home as soon as possible.
And I rushed to the hospital though it was heavily raining.
I was totally shaking 'cause I couldn't take the news.
I was told they were being taken to Hyderabad for further treatment.
I came back disheartened.
I was totally outta my senses with the tension in my mind about the condition of my friends.
I switched on TV to see if something was in the news.
But the video of my friends being taken to hospital totally shook me.
There I was watchn my friends on the news...totally hurt n fytin death. I cried a lot that night. couldn't reach any of my friends. even dad's cell was out of coverage.
The next morning the newspaper talked bout this event. Doctors said its very difficult for 1 of them to make it. Her body was totally burnt. The lightning had struck almost 1-2inches frm where she was standing.
A part of the roof was cut n hit her foot.
Doctors had to remove it.
Another gal was safe, though she lost her ability to hear.
God is great indeed though. Or is it her willpower?
Or is it a combo of the both?
Whatever it is... the gal did it.
She lukd the death in the face, spit on it n came back.
She had to get artificial leg though.
But she came back to normal neverthless n better than ever.
After engineering she joined the same college as a lecturer.
Now she's in a gud position as far as her job is concerned.
A Human being's willpower is lot bigger than millions of volts of a thunder... :)
This is 4 u my sweet sis :)
Bitter Experiences
Sometimes when I sit alone and look back at my life, I realise that what elders say about the balance of good/bad, joy/sorrow, etc is truly inevitable.
There are really a countless no. of joyful moments in my life, thanks to the people around me, and especially my parents who never let the Typical Middle Class lifestyle shadow my limitless joys.
I also had an equal share of some moments that had really me hit hard and stay with me forever, because they keep reminding me of this ironic act of the Supreme Power to balance our lives.
I'd like to share some of those bitter experiences, real eye-openers neverthless. They helped me strengthen myself and get ready to face the facts of life.
There are really a countless no. of joyful moments in my life, thanks to the people around me, and especially my parents who never let the Typical Middle Class lifestyle shadow my limitless joys.
I also had an equal share of some moments that had really me hit hard and stay with me forever, because they keep reminding me of this ironic act of the Supreme Power to balance our lives.
I'd like to share some of those bitter experiences, real eye-openers neverthless. They helped me strengthen myself and get ready to face the facts of life.
Monday, October 6, 2008
My choice of dark poetry
Hey guys,
As I've already mentioned previously, I am very much fascinated by the dark stories and dark poetry. Got to be the Frank Miller effect.
They really inspired me to write poems wid a dark backdrop.
The reason for being inspired by this stuff is I find it more comfortable yet challenging to describe a situation by creating a dark scenery to it.
It's always very easy to describe a pleasant sunrise or a garden full of daffodils or mountains and valleys.
But for a writer, it's really challenging task to create darkness in his/her writing.
Stuff dealing wid nature is very plain and easy to imagine and be a part of it.
Closing your eyes for a single moment and thinkin of a pleasant natural scenery fills you wid total bliss. One can do it anytime.
But darkness is something we all run away from. None of us would ever like to dream about being trapped in a dark room wid no doors or windows. Such dreams just frighten us n wake us frm our sleep.
It's the fear that does it. Many of us fear the darkness.
We feel insecure.
It is this very fear, pain and agony that's truly difficult to describe when you write.
'cuz u hav to involve urself in the situation to giv the reader a true experience.
n it's very painful to do that. lol.
It's in the darkest times that we exhibit our true colors. All our masks are shattered.
We prove what's really important to us in the entire world when we face the challenge of facing darkness.
THAT is the kind of feeling that can truly make the reader totally involve in your writing.
One can't be a true DARK-writer unless one's readers really don't sweat while reading one's writings.
This very challenge inspired me to actually start bein a DARK-writer.
NO...m not an agent of Satan and my lucky no. ain't 666. lol
Facin the darkness bravely will drive away all odr fears from u and also show u the harsh realities of the world we live in and beyond.
So...
I m definitely thinkin of writin some more dark stuff pretty soon..maybe a poem or a story.
Join Contentxn
As I've already mentioned previously, I am very much fascinated by the dark stories and dark poetry. Got to be the Frank Miller effect.
They really inspired me to write poems wid a dark backdrop.
The reason for being inspired by this stuff is I find it more comfortable yet challenging to describe a situation by creating a dark scenery to it.
It's always very easy to describe a pleasant sunrise or a garden full of daffodils or mountains and valleys.
But for a writer, it's really challenging task to create darkness in his/her writing.
Stuff dealing wid nature is very plain and easy to imagine and be a part of it.
Closing your eyes for a single moment and thinkin of a pleasant natural scenery fills you wid total bliss. One can do it anytime.
But darkness is something we all run away from. None of us would ever like to dream about being trapped in a dark room wid no doors or windows. Such dreams just frighten us n wake us frm our sleep.
It's the fear that does it. Many of us fear the darkness.
We feel insecure.
It is this very fear, pain and agony that's truly difficult to describe when you write.
'cuz u hav to involve urself in the situation to giv the reader a true experience.
n it's very painful to do that. lol.
It's in the darkest times that we exhibit our true colors. All our masks are shattered.
We prove what's really important to us in the entire world when we face the challenge of facing darkness.
THAT is the kind of feeling that can truly make the reader totally involve in your writing.
One can't be a true DARK-writer unless one's readers really don't sweat while reading one's writings.
This very challenge inspired me to actually start bein a DARK-writer.
NO...m not an agent of Satan and my lucky no. ain't 666. lol
Facin the darkness bravely will drive away all odr fears from u and also show u the harsh realities of the world we live in and beyond.
So...
I m definitely thinkin of writin some more dark stuff pretty soon..maybe a poem or a story.
Join Contentxn
I wish I could
I saw Heroes come n go
When n where they show up, u never know
But then i realise that they had never been on this earth
Superstars have always been just a myth
It was then very late at night
When i was returning after the show of The Dark Knight
Outside the theatre i see
A Little kid who can't even shout out "Help Me !"
Lyin on the road with an empty bottle of milk by his side
Where most of the city was enjoying the late night ride
Then there were a couple of kids asking me for alms
With their pleading eyes while spreadin out their bruised palms
I reach my home with a couple of cans of beer
I got online and spoke to my dear
She didn't stop me but told me to let it out
I finished my drink and I just wanted to shout
Then thinking of the whole thing, I cried a lot that night
I felt like I'm trapped in a dark room though it was actually so bright
I asked myself why so much of suffering in this world
I look up to the heavens, I cry, "Oh my dear Lord !"
"This world indeed needs someone to clean this crap
Someone who never cares how deep is the trap
No matter whether its day or night
All that really matters is to bring in some light
I wish One day I would be upto it and do things the way I should
and then I won't just lie down n tell myself 'I wish I could'"
When n where they show up, u never know
But then i realise that they had never been on this earth
Superstars have always been just a myth
It was then very late at night
When i was returning after the show of The Dark Knight
Outside the theatre i see
A Little kid who can't even shout out "Help Me !"
Lyin on the road with an empty bottle of milk by his side
Where most of the city was enjoying the late night ride
Then there were a couple of kids asking me for alms
With their pleading eyes while spreadin out their bruised palms
I reach my home with a couple of cans of beer
I got online and spoke to my dear
She didn't stop me but told me to let it out
I finished my drink and I just wanted to shout
Then thinking of the whole thing, I cried a lot that night
I felt like I'm trapped in a dark room though it was actually so bright
I asked myself why so much of suffering in this world
I look up to the heavens, I cry, "Oh my dear Lord !"
"This world indeed needs someone to clean this crap
Someone who never cares how deep is the trap
No matter whether its day or night
All that really matters is to bring in some light
I wish One day I would be upto it and do things the way I should
and then I won't just lie down n tell myself 'I wish I could'"
Nothing can do us apart !!!
He parked the car and then he opened the door
But checked himself one more time in the mirror, before he put his feet on the floor
He was in a hurry, he knew he was late
'Cause she was waitin for him lookin at the gate
He picked up the flowers he bought at the shop round the corner
Their sweet perfume intoxicating even the dead gargoyles
He walked upto her wid a smile, tryin to hide his guilt
But to his wonder, she welcomed him wid a smile
They get close to each other
He touched her lips n she trembled
Tears fell from her eyes 'cause the wait is over
Though its only for sometime they could be together
'cause he had things to do, fight the cause that threw em apart
which he had been tryin to do since two years, with so much of pain in his heart
But its not the time to think about it
that he's with her, after the blows that had his heart hit
He showed her his new suit, bought especially for this occassion
'Bout their li'l gal sally, Who's with her friends on vacation
He showed her the photo of their kid infront of their mansion
which she missed a lot, though she'd never mention
But its gettin late as the dawn was comin and he had to go
She didn't wanna let him, but she couldn't either say No
'cause she knew what people would think of him
they'd either call him a freak or some might pity him
So he stood up and tells "Rest in Peace My Love ! "
Then he walked and took one last look at her soul as white as a dove
Then he told his heart
that's where she still lived,
"Darling, Nothing can ever do us part !"
But checked himself one more time in the mirror, before he put his feet on the floor
He was in a hurry, he knew he was late
'Cause she was waitin for him lookin at the gate
He picked up the flowers he bought at the shop round the corner
Their sweet perfume intoxicating even the dead gargoyles
He walked upto her wid a smile, tryin to hide his guilt
But to his wonder, she welcomed him wid a smile
They get close to each other
He touched her lips n she trembled
Tears fell from her eyes 'cause the wait is over
Though its only for sometime they could be together
'cause he had things to do, fight the cause that threw em apart
which he had been tryin to do since two years, with so much of pain in his heart
But its not the time to think about it
that he's with her, after the blows that had his heart hit
He showed her his new suit, bought especially for this occassion
'Bout their li'l gal sally, Who's with her friends on vacation
He showed her the photo of their kid infront of their mansion
which she missed a lot, though she'd never mention
But its gettin late as the dawn was comin and he had to go
She didn't wanna let him, but she couldn't either say No
'cause she knew what people would think of him
they'd either call him a freak or some might pity him
So he stood up and tells "Rest in Peace My Love ! "
Then he walked and took one last look at her soul as white as a dove
Then he told his heart
that's where she still lived,
"Darling, Nothing can ever do us part !"
Monday, August 25, 2008
An experience of a lifetime
This time lemme take u a lil back in time...
almost 1yr back...
a day after diwali...
It involves our trio...Monika, Manish n Me
Place : Muzaffarnagar
v had a fundoo diwali at manish's home wid his family n ate a lot..goshh...manish khata bohot n khilata aur bhi bohot hai.lol
v planned 4 Haridwar..n started early mrng
But i was more interested in Rishikesh, as i've already been thr the previous year n i knw which 1 v wud njoy the most.n things turned out as i wanted.v got to knw dat the market wudbe closed on dat day, so v decided to go to Rishikesh ... n i was all xcitd to visit dat heavenly place once again.
v vr soon joined by 6 more frnds frm my MBA batch. i was sure dat this is gonna be 1 hell of a trip.
v reachd thr atlast after a long journey of almost 4hrs.
then v headed towards Ram Jhoola n crossed it to reach the odr side of Ganges. v sat on the bank n startd playin wid water. but bein a cancerian, since my childhood, i always had this attraction towards water, though i dnt knw swimming.lol.
so i felt bad dat v didnt bring spare clothes to take a dip in the river. but then 1 of our classmates, anupriya lost her balance n fell into the river n was driftin away. thanks to our hero manish..lol..he grabbed her n saved her lyf.seriously.it was too deep down thr.i still wonder ki mote ne balance kaise kiya.lol.
but then v continued our fun wid anu sittn on the bank wid her frnd.
luckily Manish got to meet 2 rafting guides n v bargained n atlast v agreed to do it.
i was all xcited cuz my dream 4 adventure sports is comin real.
so v headed to Shivpuri which is the startin point of rafting. this is whr many come 4 camping, stay overnight n then do rafting in the day time.wish v had time 4 a camp. the place was so beautiful. its jus himalayas all around n river Ganges flowin, the sound soothin ur mind.its such a pleasant place u really dnt wanna leave it so easily.
our rafts were gettn ready wid air filled n all. so v went ahead n played in Ganges.the water was so serene, u cud see everything beneath. i jus luvd dat place.i swear. :)
then v vr calld to begin our adventure.our team was perfect as v vr 8 in total, a perfect figure.the guides began wid the various instructions.it carried on 4 lyk 15mins of training n then v vr gud to go.
every moment of dat adventure still lives in my memory.i dnt think the experience can be limited to words. so letme put down some of em :)
thr vr these rapids everywhr. totally 11 of em, this is whr the flow is really high n anythng can happen if u dnt follow the instructions properly.but our team was perfect n v did our best n crossed em really well.our guide appreciated our teamwork.
at some of the rapids, i felt dat our raft is gonna turn upside down.but v managed to cross em really well.tho sumtyms v vr almost hit by a rock here n thr.
then v reachd a point whr water was totally still n v vr told v cud actually get down into water.so i got down alongwid odr frnds n swam. thank god i had life jacket.odrwise it'd hav been impossible 4 me :)
i told monika to stick to me.n then suddenly she felt lyk shes gonna drown n she opened her mouth n some water almost entered thru her mouth. but then i held her closely n lifted her immediately.gosh...wo sach me moti hai.lol.
ryt frankly only 1 gal named swetha knew swimming in our entire team.
then its gettn late n v vr told to get back into the raft as odr rafts vr also comin n the flow started increasin. every1 got in n i tried swimmin towards it.but the flow got faster n i cudnt swim.moreover my frnds startd raftin n they were movin in the opposite direction.i thot m gone.i was all alone nw n the distance kept increasin
so i gathered all my strength, did my best to swim my way towards the raft.then there was this raft comin in my direction.so i got hold of it n slowly moved myself to the odr side of the raft n swam further.
this helped me get closer to our raft. 1 of our guides handed over the paddle to me n i got hold of it n reached the raft. the odr guide got me in n v continued.
then after sometime, came anodr place whr i had the 1st best experience of my lyf.
the spot 4 cliff jumpin !!!...frm a height of 40ft.
i was all xcitd.i went ahead.i climbed rocks faster than my frnd n was the 1st in my team. thr vr ppl frm odr teams already tho.so i had to w8
the guy infrnt of me jumped n then it was my turn.i stepped forward. the instructor told me nt to open my mouth at any cost.i assured him i wnt.then he started countin...
1...
2....
3.....
GO !!!
i was still standin thr...4 1 more second. but then thr was no goin back.i may nt get such chance again.
i took 1 more step forward
n did wat i ought to do
JUMP !!!
it felt WONDERFUL flyin in the air b4 u fall down.
at dat moment i told myself : Phani, this wud either be the best experience of ur lyf...or the worst mistake u ever made.
n ... blam !!!
I hit the water
went deep
really deep
maybe cuz of my height n weight
i went almost 5-6 ft inside the river
then i easily swam to the surface
n i lukd at my frnds n smiled.
but then i started drownin again.i gathered strength n pulled myself back to the surface n then i had trouble breathin.cuz some water entered thru my nose.but i fought it n got hold of the walls of the huge rock beside me n swam towards the raft.i was told to stay relaxed n swim.i obeyed.n yes...dat way i cud make it.
I understood dat by struggling, u shall only struggle. stay relaxed n focussed, n u shall cross the hurdle :)
then v proceeded n crossed 2 more rapids n thr v vr ... rushin our way towards lakshman jhoola as v competed wid odr teams...n WE WON !!! :D
dat was really an experience of a lyftym :)
nw i m lukn fwd 4 bungie jumpin :D
almost 1yr back...
a day after diwali...
It involves our trio...Monika, Manish n Me
Place : Muzaffarnagar
v had a fundoo diwali at manish's home wid his family n ate a lot..goshh...manish khata bohot n khilata aur bhi bohot hai.lol
v planned 4 Haridwar..n started early mrng
But i was more interested in Rishikesh, as i've already been thr the previous year n i knw which 1 v wud njoy the most.n things turned out as i wanted.v got to knw dat the market wudbe closed on dat day, so v decided to go to Rishikesh ... n i was all xcitd to visit dat heavenly place once again.
v vr soon joined by 6 more frnds frm my MBA batch. i was sure dat this is gonna be 1 hell of a trip.
v reachd thr atlast after a long journey of almost 4hrs.
then v headed towards Ram Jhoola n crossed it to reach the odr side of Ganges. v sat on the bank n startd playin wid water. but bein a cancerian, since my childhood, i always had this attraction towards water, though i dnt knw swimming.lol.
so i felt bad dat v didnt bring spare clothes to take a dip in the river. but then 1 of our classmates, anupriya lost her balance n fell into the river n was driftin away. thanks to our hero manish..lol..he grabbed her n saved her lyf.seriously.it was too deep down thr.i still wonder ki mote ne balance kaise kiya.lol.
but then v continued our fun wid anu sittn on the bank wid her frnd.
luckily Manish got to meet 2 rafting guides n v bargained n atlast v agreed to do it.
i was all xcited cuz my dream 4 adventure sports is comin real.
so v headed to Shivpuri which is the startin point of rafting. this is whr many come 4 camping, stay overnight n then do rafting in the day time.wish v had time 4 a camp. the place was so beautiful. its jus himalayas all around n river Ganges flowin, the sound soothin ur mind.its such a pleasant place u really dnt wanna leave it so easily.
our rafts were gettn ready wid air filled n all. so v went ahead n played in Ganges.the water was so serene, u cud see everything beneath. i jus luvd dat place.i swear. :)
then v vr calld to begin our adventure.our team was perfect as v vr 8 in total, a perfect figure.the guides began wid the various instructions.it carried on 4 lyk 15mins of training n then v vr gud to go.
every moment of dat adventure still lives in my memory.i dnt think the experience can be limited to words. so letme put down some of em :)
thr vr these rapids everywhr. totally 11 of em, this is whr the flow is really high n anythng can happen if u dnt follow the instructions properly.but our team was perfect n v did our best n crossed em really well.our guide appreciated our teamwork.
at some of the rapids, i felt dat our raft is gonna turn upside down.but v managed to cross em really well.tho sumtyms v vr almost hit by a rock here n thr.
then v reachd a point whr water was totally still n v vr told v cud actually get down into water.so i got down alongwid odr frnds n swam. thank god i had life jacket.odrwise it'd hav been impossible 4 me :)
i told monika to stick to me.n then suddenly she felt lyk shes gonna drown n she opened her mouth n some water almost entered thru her mouth. but then i held her closely n lifted her immediately.gosh...wo sach me moti hai.lol.
ryt frankly only 1 gal named swetha knew swimming in our entire team.
then its gettn late n v vr told to get back into the raft as odr rafts vr also comin n the flow started increasin. every1 got in n i tried swimmin towards it.but the flow got faster n i cudnt swim.moreover my frnds startd raftin n they were movin in the opposite direction.i thot m gone.i was all alone nw n the distance kept increasin
so i gathered all my strength, did my best to swim my way towards the raft.then there was this raft comin in my direction.so i got hold of it n slowly moved myself to the odr side of the raft n swam further.
this helped me get closer to our raft. 1 of our guides handed over the paddle to me n i got hold of it n reached the raft. the odr guide got me in n v continued.
then after sometime, came anodr place whr i had the 1st best experience of my lyf.
the spot 4 cliff jumpin !!!...frm a height of 40ft.
i was all xcitd.i went ahead.i climbed rocks faster than my frnd n was the 1st in my team. thr vr ppl frm odr teams already tho.so i had to w8
the guy infrnt of me jumped n then it was my turn.i stepped forward. the instructor told me nt to open my mouth at any cost.i assured him i wnt.then he started countin...
1...
2....
3.....
GO !!!
i was still standin thr...4 1 more second. but then thr was no goin back.i may nt get such chance again.
i took 1 more step forward
n did wat i ought to do
JUMP !!!
it felt WONDERFUL flyin in the air b4 u fall down.
at dat moment i told myself : Phani, this wud either be the best experience of ur lyf...or the worst mistake u ever made.
n ... blam !!!
I hit the water
went deep
really deep
maybe cuz of my height n weight
i went almost 5-6 ft inside the river
then i easily swam to the surface
n i lukd at my frnds n smiled.
but then i started drownin again.i gathered strength n pulled myself back to the surface n then i had trouble breathin.cuz some water entered thru my nose.but i fought it n got hold of the walls of the huge rock beside me n swam towards the raft.i was told to stay relaxed n swim.i obeyed.n yes...dat way i cud make it.
I understood dat by struggling, u shall only struggle. stay relaxed n focussed, n u shall cross the hurdle :)
then v proceeded n crossed 2 more rapids n thr v vr ... rushin our way towards lakshman jhoola as v competed wid odr teams...n WE WON !!! :D
dat was really an experience of a lyftym :)
nw i m lukn fwd 4 bungie jumpin :D
"Rock On" weekend
Details of the events:
Date : 23rd August 2008
Place: Pune
Co-ordinates: I wasn't carryin a GPS system then...so STFU
After a hectic ( was it really? :P) week, v planned to chek out a new movie, RGV's Phoonk, a supposed-to-be horror movie, which v planned to watch at 11.15pm to hav a real horror movie thrill, thanks to all the hype. Well, lemme take u thru the events b4 dat in brief - went to McDonald's, had my fav McVeggie meal, reachd e-square by 10.00pm...cuz i had some shopping to do as well (which was disappointing as i cudnt find wat i was lukn 4 :( )..then after 45min w8, my frnds turned up.
A brief intro to em:
Anu-My colleague n friend
Keshri,Nitin,Geetika - her friends and Anu's roomie (naam yaad nai yaar..sorry.i jus suck at rememberin names :P)
We entered the hall wid lotsa anticipation.Phir ppl started clappin n whistlin long b4 thr was nythng on the screen.lol
Then 2hrs passed lyk ... well...2 long days.lol.it was pathetic...ewwwwww...ppl vr laufin their a$$e$ off. Ramu, though v both come frm the same place, pls 4 gods' sake...DNT MAKE ANY MORE MOVIES !!!
Poor screenplay, pathetic script, pointless sound effects, n much more crap. RGV thot ppl r so stupid dat he can scare em showing some artefacts in close-up shots. but the pens n pencils in ppl's hands n hair were shown in really HD-quality.lol
Then after being SCARED by the disaster called Phoonk, v went out, hopin to go home n hav some sleep.
But then our wicked minds had odr ideas.lol
v felt hungry... all of us. so v headed to railway station to hav a lil snack at Comesum at 2am.lol.4 of us shared 2 pastries, then had a chinese veg combo meal.
Once done, v came out, lukd arnd n then Keshri took out his weapon...his Digital Cam.
thr was this entry board wid Pune Railway Station written on it in hindi.v stood thr n took a snap.vr bout to take 1 near the english board as well, but guard uncle ne rok diya.lol
so v went to parking, whr thr were all these trees...so humne socha ... phoonk-2 banaaye...real scary version wid the scary damsels accompanyin us..lol.kiddin...had a lot of masti over thr in various poses beneath the tress, on the bikes, etc etc
..as if v vr posin 4 some ad.lol..v got those Model looks u see ;)
Then v headed to Rajaram Pul...n saw the road to be empty. so v resumed our session. :P
v parked our bikes. (i was on Keshri's bike btw :P)...
gt the cam out once again. n then...Lock n Load..lol
v startd takn pics after pics most of em in Rock On style wid poses full of attitude. this continued until it was 4am
then v calld it off...
Anu n her roomie went on their way, Keshri n i towards my room. Keshri dropped me at home. asked him to stay back cuz it was too late...(or early..whichever u prefer)...but he insisted on goin back.so he left
I entered my room to find my roomie sleepin on bed. peacefully. so i put on some classical slow music, headfones on... n i went into sleep slowly into the world of dreams ... :)
Date : 23rd August 2008
Place: Pune
Co-ordinates: I wasn't carryin a GPS system then...so STFU
After a hectic ( was it really? :P) week, v planned to chek out a new movie, RGV's Phoonk, a supposed-to-be horror movie, which v planned to watch at 11.15pm to hav a real horror movie thrill, thanks to all the hype. Well, lemme take u thru the events b4 dat in brief - went to McDonald's, had my fav McVeggie meal, reachd e-square by 10.00pm...cuz i had some shopping to do as well (which was disappointing as i cudnt find wat i was lukn 4 :( )..then after 45min w8, my frnds turned up.
A brief intro to em:
Anu-My colleague n friend
Keshri,Nitin,Geetika - her friends and Anu's roomie (naam yaad nai yaar..sorry.i jus suck at rememberin names :P)
We entered the hall wid lotsa anticipation.Phir ppl started clappin n whistlin long b4 thr was nythng on the screen.lol
Then 2hrs passed lyk ... well...2 long days.lol.it was pathetic...ewwwwww...ppl vr laufin their a$$e$ off. Ramu, though v both come frm the same place, pls 4 gods' sake...DNT MAKE ANY MORE MOVIES !!!
Poor screenplay, pathetic script, pointless sound effects, n much more crap. RGV thot ppl r so stupid dat he can scare em showing some artefacts in close-up shots. but the pens n pencils in ppl's hands n hair were shown in really HD-quality.lol
Then after being SCARED by the disaster called Phoonk, v went out, hopin to go home n hav some sleep.
But then our wicked minds had odr ideas.lol
v felt hungry... all of us. so v headed to railway station to hav a lil snack at Comesum at 2am.lol.4 of us shared 2 pastries, then had a chinese veg combo meal.
Once done, v came out, lukd arnd n then Keshri took out his weapon...his Digital Cam.
thr was this entry board wid Pune Railway Station written on it in hindi.v stood thr n took a snap.vr bout to take 1 near the english board as well, but guard uncle ne rok diya.lol
so v went to parking, whr thr were all these trees...so humne socha ... phoonk-2 banaaye...real scary version wid the scary damsels accompanyin us..lol.kiddin...had a lot of masti over thr in various poses beneath the tress, on the bikes, etc etc
..as if v vr posin 4 some ad.lol..v got those Model looks u see ;)
Then v headed to Rajaram Pul...n saw the road to be empty. so v resumed our session. :P
v parked our bikes. (i was on Keshri's bike btw :P)...
gt the cam out once again. n then...Lock n Load..lol
v startd takn pics after pics most of em in Rock On style wid poses full of attitude. this continued until it was 4am
then v calld it off...
Anu n her roomie went on their way, Keshri n i towards my room. Keshri dropped me at home. asked him to stay back cuz it was too late...(or early..whichever u prefer)...but he insisted on goin back.so he left
I entered my room to find my roomie sleepin on bed. peacefully. so i put on some classical slow music, headfones on... n i went into sleep slowly into the world of dreams ... :)
Monday, August 11, 2008
Convocation : A re-union
Alright. I've somehw got a job nw. workn my a$$ off.(am i ? FU if u think i aint). alryt this blog n further blogs r gonna hav some EXPLICIT WORDS. so PARENTAL GUIDANCE is recommended 4 those kiddies wid diapers on.its maybe cuz recently i m much influenced by Frank miller's narrations in his movies Sin City n 300 or Christopher Nolan's Memento or even Fight Club. I thot of includin some extra spice to my blog. Here we go now...
Been almost a year nw since i wrote my previous post. my job from Feb 18th has brought about a lot of changes within me jus in the 1st 15 days. I've started "ANALYZING" things. read THE ECONOMIC TIMES daily (u myt say "wat a big joke !") n jus get xcited when the market goes up n down. I started workin late hours. One thing dat hasnt changed is me n the computer n the ritual of downloadin software...THE BEST THING I REALLY NJOY DOIN.
So wid all these changes, I've been livin this new lyf. The luxury of being an employee; of being some1 many of ur colleagues luk up to. i always thot of job nt as a source of makn money. (F**k !!! even a wh**e makes lotsa money.) it's bout pride, gettn wat u want,livin ur dreams, being independent, many odrs but on the right path. (I've never been a leftist..lol).
As the lyf is passin by this way, 1 day a mail pops up. It ain't 1 of those mails where ur clients send all those shitty requests to make modifications, to the product delivered,whenever they get aroused; it ain't even 1 of those cry-babies beggin u 4 help when they face a f**kin error cuz of some shitty mistake they make. it's bout the day i've been waitin 4... THE CONVOCATION !!! its the day when i'll be back home. when we reunite 4 1 more tym.
But I ain't supposed to take a leave. cuz I won't get it nyways. even if they accept, m gonna lose the bucks 4 all those days. but then, I said "Screw it dude !"..it's jus 3 days. didnt make any calculations as to hw much m gonna lose. cuz m gonna gain much more than dat. the ultimate prize 4 which my parents had to feed the college admin wid lakhs;most importantly...the reunion...when i cud be wid my 2 best pals once again n do wat we do the best.
Monday: So i started to play this god-damned "I got fever" thing. skipped my lunch to prove dat m gonna puke on all those shitfaces, if i eat even a spoonfull of food. but then, u ought to hav some backup. so I told the truth to a very very few ppl. jus 2 actually.
Tuesday: My flight was at 1.30. but started to airport pretty early...wid a pony n my brand new sunglasses (bought jus 4 this occassion); also to help myself believe dat i m Val Kilmer of The Saint. boarded the flight atlast. dats lyk the longest 2hrs i ever had. then landed on the odr side.went to my pal's house.n v 3 started together to the college.
Atlast I stepped outta the car n put my feet down at the place where I've spent 2 damn years. the place where I ruled. the place that laughed with me. the place that laughed at me. this place gav me the best n the worst memories to liv 4ever.no regrets. still..facts r facts. Too many shocked faces to luk at this whole new ponytail look of mine. cuz of the long hair I've started growin 6 months back. then I kept meetin every1 n kept givin the same goddamn answer "I've grown my hair jus 4 a change u shithole !". but then...this is wat i wanted. 1 day 4 myself.I've heard ppl sayin bout me "He has become the hero of the day". Yes I was.I was proud.It fed my ego.every1 must feel proud bout themselves at times nyways. but this is my moment. and m livin it !!!
The biggest dissappointment : We were treated as guests. we had all those facilities that we never had as students.n none of the existin students ever knew v r gonna njoy all of it.It made me sick.I m being treated as a guest in my own damn home.v did a lot at this place.v lived here.v built it.nw u jus become a guest;a visitor;who's gonna collect his degree n walk away.wat a shit ! then v went out again to the brand new Mc D's outlet.god i luv those McVeggie's over thr.n nt 2 4get French Fries.
Wednesday: Here's the day. The main event day. its lyk Superbowl of our college. lol. funny it is...v r gettn graduated 4 no hardwork v ever put in. bout studies m talkn. rest all...v had hardtime listenin to the hammers all over the campus while the buildings r comin up. the windows pavin way to bugs.water outages while u keep shittin. lectures dat happened once in a blue moon. still v had fun in the 2yrs.since v r the 1st batch,"THE LEGENDARY PIONEER BATCH", v never had any rules.v made the rules.n v always broke those few dat ever existed.v njoyd it.its lyk a rebel widout a cause.u do it jus 4 the fun it gives.its lyk u luk into the face of the administration n say "FU.this is my place.my college.my building."its a fact alryt.buildings dnt make institutions.its the ppl who stay thr n r part of it.start publicisin bout it (widout actually botherin whether its a fact or jus fake).u jus do it. but then shitworms r everywhr.n some even invaded our campus in the 2nd year. tryin to turn it frm a college campus into a fu**ed up military camp. here's a msg 4 u dude: "I don't care if u worked in some xyz regiment;if u've ever been to Kremlin square; or if u were a personal a**-cleaner of queen elizabeth.ur shit rules dnt apply to us.take ur crap n shove it where the sun doesn't shine." this is the sort of aggression n attitude these 2 yrs hav built up in me.
Alright nw...too much for memories.lets get back to the present day.I'm supposed to collect the caution deposit of 25,000.00 which i least expected to get back.come 2nd year, we had restrictions bout the clothes v r supposed to wear into the admin office.nt this tym.i didnt take ny formal clothes at all.i said F**k it.no1's gonna do a shit bout it.its my time after all.so i entered the office n sat infrnt of this new chik who's incharge 4 this stuff.i was wearin my sleeveless workout t-shirt n a pajama n my reebok shoes wid a pony behind.she was speechless wid my messed up "NON-PROFESSIONAL" look.but she knew that I didn't giv a shit bout it.I never did.she had to force this stupid lil smirk on her not-so-pretty face.I collected all dat i had to.then got back n got ready.v had to wear those joker-gowns after all.no apologies.i still wonder why some1's supposed to wear those stupid black graduation gowns n put up those stupid hats wid a pony tail of its own dat makes u luk lyk a cheap 50-cent buffoon.funny thing is...dats wat "class" is ... in this civilised westernised world.nyways after lunch,v wore it.n startd roamin arnd in that ghostly attire.
then after a long n (as-usual) boring lectures frm all the "guests of honor", the "dignitaries", atlast the tym came, n everything happened fast.ppl got degrees, toppers got some scholarships...blah blah blah...everything happened well.i finished if off in short cuz i never got any.well I ain't dat sorta kid alryt.lol
then v had dinner wid all these oldies.n then dj party...etc etc...vl tell u all dat l8r on in some odr post wat exactly happened.lol.cuz it needs special treatment. if u knw wat i mean ;)
Thursday: Now its the end of the party.its time 4 anodr departure. why does it happen so many times again n again in ur lyf?nyways, i woke up wid a hangover.lol.told ya...thrs special treatment 4 the scene dat happened in between :P...got ready.met frnds b4 leavin.my frnds were w8n 4 me inside the car.i jus stood still.breathin became difficult.it started to rain a lil bit.my face became wet.dnt knw if its my tears or the raindrops,but i felt water pourin down my eyes.maybe i wnt come back again.even if i do,i'd be a guest. nt the student.1 goddamn day has turned "the students" into "ex-students" ... the alumni.nyways its a human tendency.until u r dead, ppl call u mom,dad,uncle,aunty,grandpa,grandma,blah blah blah.but the very moment u r dead, they refer to u as deadbody.the corpse.i felt the same.i told myself, "u dnt belong here nymore.u hav passed the torch to some1 else.dats a fact.accept it."..i felt a chill run down my spine.n i got inside the car.i didn't luk back. i didn't want to.i jus wantd to get the hell outta here.
then v went out again to freak out once again. had pizzas n garlic breads n this n dat n everythng.had lotsa fun in lil time.then the time has come to say gudbye to each odr.n thr v parted again.nt 4ever tho. the spirit of our trio lives 4ever.the bond is so special.its very different frm all odrs i had in my lyf.this brings down the curtains on yet anodr crucial episode of my lyf
Been almost a year nw since i wrote my previous post. my job from Feb 18th has brought about a lot of changes within me jus in the 1st 15 days. I've started "ANALYZING" things. read THE ECONOMIC TIMES daily (u myt say "wat a big joke !") n jus get xcited when the market goes up n down. I started workin late hours. One thing dat hasnt changed is me n the computer n the ritual of downloadin software...THE BEST THING I REALLY NJOY DOIN.
So wid all these changes, I've been livin this new lyf. The luxury of being an employee; of being some1 many of ur colleagues luk up to. i always thot of job nt as a source of makn money. (F**k !!! even a wh**e makes lotsa money.) it's bout pride, gettn wat u want,livin ur dreams, being independent, many odrs but on the right path. (I've never been a leftist..lol).
As the lyf is passin by this way, 1 day a mail pops up. It ain't 1 of those mails where ur clients send all those shitty requests to make modifications, to the product delivered,whenever they get aroused; it ain't even 1 of those cry-babies beggin u 4 help when they face a f**kin error cuz of some shitty mistake they make. it's bout the day i've been waitin 4... THE CONVOCATION !!! its the day when i'll be back home. when we reunite 4 1 more tym.
But I ain't supposed to take a leave. cuz I won't get it nyways. even if they accept, m gonna lose the bucks 4 all those days. but then, I said "Screw it dude !"..it's jus 3 days. didnt make any calculations as to hw much m gonna lose. cuz m gonna gain much more than dat. the ultimate prize 4 which my parents had to feed the college admin wid lakhs;most importantly...the reunion...when i cud be wid my 2 best pals once again n do wat we do the best.
Monday: So i started to play this god-damned "I got fever" thing. skipped my lunch to prove dat m gonna puke on all those shitfaces, if i eat even a spoonfull of food. but then, u ought to hav some backup. so I told the truth to a very very few ppl. jus 2 actually.
Tuesday: My flight was at 1.30. but started to airport pretty early...wid a pony n my brand new sunglasses (bought jus 4 this occassion); also to help myself believe dat i m Val Kilmer of The Saint. boarded the flight atlast. dats lyk the longest 2hrs i ever had. then landed on the odr side.went to my pal's house.n v 3 started together to the college.
Atlast I stepped outta the car n put my feet down at the place where I've spent 2 damn years. the place where I ruled. the place that laughed with me. the place that laughed at me. this place gav me the best n the worst memories to liv 4ever.no regrets. still..facts r facts. Too many shocked faces to luk at this whole new ponytail look of mine. cuz of the long hair I've started growin 6 months back. then I kept meetin every1 n kept givin the same goddamn answer "I've grown my hair jus 4 a change u shithole !". but then...this is wat i wanted. 1 day 4 myself.I've heard ppl sayin bout me "He has become the hero of the day". Yes I was.I was proud.It fed my ego.every1 must feel proud bout themselves at times nyways. but this is my moment. and m livin it !!!
The biggest dissappointment : We were treated as guests. we had all those facilities that we never had as students.n none of the existin students ever knew v r gonna njoy all of it.It made me sick.I m being treated as a guest in my own damn home.v did a lot at this place.v lived here.v built it.nw u jus become a guest;a visitor;who's gonna collect his degree n walk away.wat a shit ! then v went out again to the brand new Mc D's outlet.god i luv those McVeggie's over thr.n nt 2 4get French Fries.
Wednesday: Here's the day. The main event day. its lyk Superbowl of our college. lol. funny it is...v r gettn graduated 4 no hardwork v ever put in. bout studies m talkn. rest all...v had hardtime listenin to the hammers all over the campus while the buildings r comin up. the windows pavin way to bugs.water outages while u keep shittin. lectures dat happened once in a blue moon. still v had fun in the 2yrs.since v r the 1st batch,"THE LEGENDARY PIONEER BATCH", v never had any rules.v made the rules.n v always broke those few dat ever existed.v njoyd it.its lyk a rebel widout a cause.u do it jus 4 the fun it gives.its lyk u luk into the face of the administration n say "FU.this is my place.my college.my building."its a fact alryt.buildings dnt make institutions.its the ppl who stay thr n r part of it.start publicisin bout it (widout actually botherin whether its a fact or jus fake).u jus do it. but then shitworms r everywhr.n some even invaded our campus in the 2nd year. tryin to turn it frm a college campus into a fu**ed up military camp. here's a msg 4 u dude: "I don't care if u worked in some xyz regiment;if u've ever been to Kremlin square; or if u were a personal a**-cleaner of queen elizabeth.ur shit rules dnt apply to us.take ur crap n shove it where the sun doesn't shine." this is the sort of aggression n attitude these 2 yrs hav built up in me.
Alright nw...too much for memories.lets get back to the present day.I'm supposed to collect the caution deposit of 25,000.00 which i least expected to get back.come 2nd year, we had restrictions bout the clothes v r supposed to wear into the admin office.nt this tym.i didnt take ny formal clothes at all.i said F**k it.no1's gonna do a shit bout it.its my time after all.so i entered the office n sat infrnt of this new chik who's incharge 4 this stuff.i was wearin my sleeveless workout t-shirt n a pajama n my reebok shoes wid a pony behind.she was speechless wid my messed up "NON-PROFESSIONAL" look.but she knew that I didn't giv a shit bout it.I never did.she had to force this stupid lil smirk on her not-so-pretty face.I collected all dat i had to.then got back n got ready.v had to wear those joker-gowns after all.no apologies.i still wonder why some1's supposed to wear those stupid black graduation gowns n put up those stupid hats wid a pony tail of its own dat makes u luk lyk a cheap 50-cent buffoon.funny thing is...dats wat "class" is ... in this civilised westernised world.nyways after lunch,v wore it.n startd roamin arnd in that ghostly attire.
then after a long n (as-usual) boring lectures frm all the "guests of honor", the "dignitaries", atlast the tym came, n everything happened fast.ppl got degrees, toppers got some scholarships...blah blah blah...everything happened well.i finished if off in short cuz i never got any.well I ain't dat sorta kid alryt.lol
then v had dinner wid all these oldies.n then dj party...etc etc...vl tell u all dat l8r on in some odr post wat exactly happened.lol.cuz it needs special treatment. if u knw wat i mean ;)
Thursday: Now its the end of the party.its time 4 anodr departure. why does it happen so many times again n again in ur lyf?nyways, i woke up wid a hangover.lol.told ya...thrs special treatment 4 the scene dat happened in between :P...got ready.met frnds b4 leavin.my frnds were w8n 4 me inside the car.i jus stood still.breathin became difficult.it started to rain a lil bit.my face became wet.dnt knw if its my tears or the raindrops,but i felt water pourin down my eyes.maybe i wnt come back again.even if i do,i'd be a guest. nt the student.1 goddamn day has turned "the students" into "ex-students" ... the alumni.nyways its a human tendency.until u r dead, ppl call u mom,dad,uncle,aunty,grandpa,grandma,blah blah blah.but the very moment u r dead, they refer to u as deadbody.the corpse.i felt the same.i told myself, "u dnt belong here nymore.u hav passed the torch to some1 else.dats a fact.accept it."..i felt a chill run down my spine.n i got inside the car.i didn't luk back. i didn't want to.i jus wantd to get the hell outta here.
then v went out again to freak out once again. had pizzas n garlic breads n this n dat n everythng.had lotsa fun in lil time.then the time has come to say gudbye to each odr.n thr v parted again.nt 4ever tho. the spirit of our trio lives 4ever.the bond is so special.its very different frm all odrs i had in my lyf.this brings down the curtains on yet anodr crucial episode of my lyf
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